I want you to know, how much you mean to me
‘I want you to know, how much you mean to me’
This letter is for you, dear
I don’t know you will believe me or not when I said that I made this in the middle of Biology’s exam
You keep flying aroud on my head although I am get my headache because of the questions
Why? Don’t ask me that. Never
Sorry, I should not say never. Like you said, never say never
Again right? I remember something that I should have forgotten
I still remember all the memories, the good and the bad one
Now I just want to explode what I have keep away from you before, the truth
Listen to me, we are no longer have any relationship
I know that well, you will walk by yourself like I do because there is no more us like before
Past is the past and it would not repeated again even if you and me still have that strange feeling
Useless, we have nothing to do with that but give up
I am tired like you do feel lately. We are both tired, thats all
You knew well that I am a natural liar
What I do is just to make you happy eventhough thats not the real me
And what have you do to me?
Hurting me? Ugh, stop it!
I am a human being too, human who have a feeling, heart
Not just you whom want to being loved
Don’t you ever think about what I want? What I think and feel?
I just really miss the time when you do care, a long time ago
I am feel so disappointed, why you do have to change?
All I want is you, the old you, not the new one
You do that for me? For my sake? Really?
Then why I don’t feel the same? What I do feel and think about you was wrong?
Do you know what? You become cold, so much different
I love you, who was very kind and warm also care and loving
But who you are now?
What you have give to me?
Nothing but pain which is feel so hurting
I don’t know why. So explain to me, give me a reason, don’t force me to hate you
I still want to be by yourside, keep you here, not letting you go
Although just for once…
I want to hold your hands, hug you with my own arms, make you closer
Or at least meet you in person and talk about everything needed
May be for the first and the last time, in our farewell
Let me tell you how much you mean to me
Because you are my first love after all
No, please don’t judge this one of my lies
I knew, you will not believe me even just for this time
‘I love you’ a statement that will not be believed by you, right?
I also knew, in your eyes, I am just a liar, not a human being
I am a witch because I am indisputable bad girl in front of you
Here, let me say, I am not as bad as you thinking about
What I have said before, all the lies which is ever came out from my lips
They just something to assay you, to see how you responses
I want to know how much I mean to you
I want to be loved like I loving others, like you
Not just get caring or just a pitiful feeling
A true love
I want it, so simple to say right?
But may be I was wrong, a true love? The pure one? Do they really exist?
They just will appear in a story tale, because they are dream, delusion, illusion, fancy…
Then still… I think we can make them come true, can’t we?
Why can’t we make it real? And make an happily everafter ending story too then?
For God sake! Oh I am really sorry, I forgot…
We live in a real life which is force us to be realistic
There is no ‘pure’ in this world, all the things exist for something behind it, a reason…
Do you love me for a reason? May be I do too
I love you because I need you, I want you…
Thats my reasons so how about you? What is your reasons?
Is it because of something bad that you hide?
I am sorry for being negative thinking about you
I am just asking okay? Some more…
Am i really a bad person? Do I have no good points? Or some good things?
May be good memoirs after this long time?
Then why do you have to be with me after all?
Tell me, let me know, make me understand
I am so curious
Ugh, yeah, curious, one thing I also forgotten
Curious is something that will make everody in this world interest or call it fall for something else
Something which is we don’t get will make us curious
Make us want to get it so bad
Then after we get it… maybe it would not be interesting again anymore
Call it something we do feel now…
So let say good bye and take care
Thanks for the past we spent together, all memories, good and the bad one, just let it
And thank you so much for HATING me now… I hate you too although I also love you
Not again! You make me want to poke you!
Have a nice life. Live your life… have happy ending with whoever is she~
I want you to know, how much you mean to me by write this letter…
Letting you know the truth
I love you so bad, dear…